garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
