sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
