I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm at about main and main street
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
