Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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