Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
