Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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