What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
