i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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