so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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