Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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