I wanna passion pit in your ass
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
