A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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