I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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