i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
