I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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