My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
try to milk me bitch
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize