now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
