You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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