is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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