hell yes lets make some ravioli
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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