i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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