dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
last night I used snow as a chaser
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
