Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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