Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
