Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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