areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
