Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The air was thick with penises
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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