i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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