so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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