i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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