just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
