It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
