So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
