It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
