part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
