um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
