Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize