Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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