would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
