just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize