laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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