And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
