I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
