I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
