Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
