I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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