this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
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So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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