May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
