I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
