a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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