I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my sisters under your porch take her home
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
