this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
