My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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