I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
