so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
