I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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