One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
