SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
