we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
