I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
