so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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