So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
