then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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