just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
