Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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